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If It Walks Like A Duck, It's Probably a Doc

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Monday, November 8, 2021

We walked into the Doctor's office for a post-surgical follow-up. My surgeon entered the room and greeted me by bellowing out "Diffuse Large B-cell Lymphoma!" He had already told me that he was an immigrant to this country, so I thought maybe the strange words coming out of his mouth were some sort of ritualistic greeting and that we were having a cultural disconnect. He then handed me the pathology report, which I quickly scanned. It took me a minute, but I eventually recognized the words on the page as the same words with which he threw open the office door. Only then did I understand that he was giving me a diagnosis by way of greeting.

He immediately called the Oncologist to try and move my appointment, which had been scheduled for the following week, to the next day. That wasn't alarming at all. I asked him if it meant this kind of Cancer requires a sense of urgency.

His rather succinct answer was, "Yep."

I think he was trying to draw a line between his role as Surgeon and the Oncologist's role as treating physician. A surgeon is not supposed to talk to you about treatment, but HE'S THE ONE WHO GAVE ME THE FREAKING DIAGNOSIS! If you're not able to talk to me about, keep it to yourself - just look at my scar and send me on my way!

Unfortunately, after surgery he had told Shawnna that the lab "took a quick look and thought that it might be Follicular Lymphoma, but we'd have to wait for pathology to be sure." Against my better judgement, I looked up "Follicular Lymphoma," which was described as "indolent".

Indolent, adjective
in·​do·​lent | \ ˈin-də-lənt
1 - averse to activity, effort, or movement. Habitually lazy.
2 - causing little or no pain.

If you have Cancer, then having it described as "lazy" and "causing little or no pain" seems like a pretty good deal. Therefore, when my particular Cancer was revealed to be something other than lazy - when it was revealed to be, in fact, quite the opposite of lazy - that particular revelation was a bit of a gut punch. As we left his office, I had to take a seat by the elevator for a brief moment of deep breathing.

Tuesday, November 9, 2021

We met the Oncologist. Shawnna thinks she looked like a duck. Not because she actually resembled waterfowl, but because she was wearing one of those masks that has a duck-like proboscis.

Not my actual Doctor

(Shawnna wants you to know that her actual mask was yellow, which emphasized its duck-like nature.)

For the next two-and-a-half hours we talked to the Doctor, Pharmacist, Nurse, and Lymphoma Nurse Navigator, who wasn't nearly as piratical as her job title might suggest.

Next stop, Chemo!

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Location: Charlotte, NC 28211, USA

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