So, the other day Shawnna and I were getting ready for bed, standing shoulder-to-shoulder in the bathroom, worshipping before the great American altar that is a porcelain double vanity, and performing our respective evening ablutions. We became synchronous, unconsciously so, but synchronous nonetheless. She had her handful of nighttime pills and was popping them one at a time. I was doubling and tripling mine in random combinations. I have more than she, so we were still keeping time… like a couple of pharmacological Art Blakeys. An epiphanic clarity came over me; a clarity so palpable that I had no choice but to give it voice, “This is a stupid fucking ritual.” Tomorrow is gonna be a long week. At 8:20 I have a CT of my abdomen and pelvis with contrast . I think “with contrast” is when they shoot you full of radioactive fizzy water that makes it feel like you’re peeing in your pants when you’re really not. At 10:00, I have labs. Since I still have my central line port, this is relati
I like to read. It’s something I do every day. When I climb in to bed at night, I read before I turn off the light. It’s a rule. When I’m acutely tired and my heavy-lidded eyesight is filtered through more lash than ball, I still force myself to squeeze out at least one sentence. As I said, it’s a rule, and there just aren’t too many of those I choose to apply to my life. Steven’ Rules to Live By: Read every night before turning off the light. Early is on time. On time is late. Don’t be late. Commandments 5 – 7 Never invade Russia in the winter. There is no variety of sliced meat on bread for which mayonnaise is an appropriate condiment. Don’t be an asshole. The only thing about reading I like better than reading is amassing reading material. My wife reads on a Kindle. I don’t. It’s too smooth. Reading should involve texture. A good used bookstore is among my favorite places on earth. There is no better way to kill two hours on a weekend afternoon than sifting through the shelves of a